Jane Says....

For those who had the GREAT privileged of knowing me at the age of 15, you know that I was completely obsessed with Jane's Addiction. I would only befriend those who knew, and loved Jane's Addiction. I sported a coveted Jane's Addiction patch on my backpack. I had a Jane's Addiction sticker on my bad ass 1982 baby blue Honda Accord. I had pictures of Perry Farrell hanging in my room. I watched The Gift every other day. I was ALWAYS listening to Jane's Addiction.

The first time I ever heard Jane's Addiction was in the backseat of Stefani Miller's car. I was young, like 13 or 14. I remember sitting in the backseat riding down south 10th with my sister, Stefani and Staci. I was completely blown away. Music changed for me.

Then I purchased this:
and it changed my life...

This album with a little Pixies Surfer Rosa and Fugazi 13 Songs was the soundtrack to my blissful teenage years.

I can recall sitting in my room on my daybed with the black light on and the lights off, blaring Ritual De Lo Habitual. Staring at my kick ass black light posters and graffitied walls.


Or riding in Laura's Ford Fairmont to Reynosa while listening to "Three Days" on the "car stereo" Only to get there, down a pre-game Flaming Dr. Pepper at the Duchess, and hang out at the Zar Bar till curfew.


And sitting in Lindsey's room, with some delish wine coolers, talking about life and family and feeling like I knew it all with "Jane Says" playing in the background.

Then there were those times visiting my sister in this amazing gigantic super cool city called Austin. I remember listening to Stop in her oh so cool apartment on South 1st.


And the greatest memory of all was sitting in Jackie Fanning's backyard, listening to this guy play and sing "Classic Girl" on his guitar. I was immediately interested in this guy, had my friends set me up, then married him about 7 years later. At our wedding Justin played "Classic Girl," and again, my heart melted.


So you get it, lots of great memories.

So when my sister called me a couple of months ago and told me that Jane's Addiction was coming to Austin, I was freaking thrilled.
We managed to get amazing tickets on the floor.

Tuesday May 12, 2009:
I walked into the Frank Erwin Center, and immediately the lights turned off and NIN started to play. It was a great little bonus but I was really there for Jane's Addiction.
NIN finished up and my heart began to RACE.
We were right there.

I heard Perry's voice. My eyes closed and began to well up with tears. Then it started "Three Day's" "Whores" "Aint No Right" "Pigs in Zen" it just kept getting better and better.




Holy Shit, the fact that this was taking place right in front of me was so overwhelming. It was like I was 15 again, back in my room, sitting on the floor in front of my bad ass sound system:
only it was better.



And I started to smell this very familiar scent. Sweet and strawberry. It was the smell of the exact incense that I thought was so AWESOME when I bought it at Planet K in Austin, while visiting my sister, in 1997. I'm pretty sure Perry Farrell broke into my room and stole some of my crappy incense. I believe it was called Strawberry Dream. It was surrounding me. I'm assuming it was burning on stage. Either that, or somebody decided to pack along some incense in their backpack, who knows. Justin smelled it too though, I wasn't hallucinating, I swear. All I know is that I was totally immersed. Every sense was taken back to one of the most amazing times in my life. A time when I was young and careless and free. A fresh and new and amazing relationship with my little boyfriend, Justin Prater, the forming of friendships that would last forever, and the joys of knowing that I had my entire life ahead of me.

So I really don't care how "1997" this show was. It was something that I figured I would never experience EVER in my little life. And I did. And it was freaking awesome.

Oh to be 29 again...

My Birthday was absolutely amazing!
So amazing that 3 days later, I still have a lingering twinge of the hangover.

I went to my favorite pizza place, home slice, for lunch and enjoyed a giant slice of eggplant pizza while simultaneously stuffing rolls into Bodhi's mouth to keep him from screaming at the top of his lungs "EAT!!!!!"

Then we came home, and I fell asleep in Jaxon's bed, stuffed and happy. I woke up from my nap, made a quick run to my fav Starbucks for the usual grande nonfat latte, and then sipped on it while relaxing in the sun with my 3 beautiful boys.

That night we headed downtown for burgers at Casino El Camino. I opted for the politically correct (no burger, just cucumber, cheese, sprouts, and roasted peppers). I was envisioning having the meal twice that night, once going down and the other coming up, so I tried to eat on the lighter side. I don't care what you say, it was delish after I scraped the flaming hot things they called "peppers" out. I have a high tolerance for heat when it comes to food but these things were just plain ridiculously hot. Everyone else got a ginormous 18 lb hamburger with bacon, cheese, mushrooms avocado's and whatever else amazing addition to a burger you could possibly imagine. Apparently it takes a good two hours to cook a burger that gigantic, so we hung out talking, drinking, eating. Good times. Oh and I discovered my new favorite drink, a salty dog.



Laura and I rented a karaoke room at a sushi/karaoke bar downtown for our Big Karaoke Extravaganza. After 30 years of begging, I finally convinced Laura to have a joint Birthday party with me. Selfish bitch (just kidding, luv ya Laura....but ya know its true) She finally caved and I don't think she'll ever regret it.



I can't even begin to give the night justice in a blog, perhaps its my 3 day hangover not allowing me to relive. It was just fantastically phenomenal.




and whoa......I was....having fun!!!!



The next day involved lotsawater, ibuprofen, and "what the fuck did I do" questions....Just the way any good Birthday should be!

thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, to all my friends and family for the best birthday EVER!

There was no better way to say goodbye to my 20's.

Love you all-

The SXSW Uchi show was freaking AWESOME. I got to actually drink beer during the sunlight hours! The first sip took me back to my days on the freezing Guadalupe river. Tubing with a 24 pack and my best friends. Lazy, drunk, amazing days. More importantly(or just as important) the music was fantastic, hanging with my friends was phenomenal and seeing The Authors, always fantastic. I loved every second of it.


However, I may have forgot one important small detail that day...sunscreen. OUCH! I felt the burn as it was happening but was too euphoric to actually do something about it. On the upside, I have a fantastic v-neck tan now. This photo is courtesy of the new photographer in the house, Jaxon. He took about 40 of my right ear but this one happened to catch my burn.





Sunday was the day of recovery.

Monday, oh Monday. Where do I even begin? Let me start with this...FUCK MONDAY! Early that morning Justin took my car to the shop, so we had to reinstall the carseats into the rental. We did Bodhi's first because he had a date with Gymboree. 1 carseat in and Bodhi and I take off for a fun filled hour of singing and dancing. We did the Gymboree thing with Jaxon and he LOVED it. We are doing the Gymboree thing with Bodhi and he loves it too. However, just like with Jaxon, I hate it. Its the interaction with these moms that really gets to me. I'm fortunate to know some amazing moms that don't annoy me when they talk about their kids and husbands. However, Gymboree doesn't house those kinda moms. These aren't the kind of moms I want to hang with. Sorry, but I don't want to hear about how their 10 month old child knows all his colors and shapes, and the presidents in alphabetical order, and can appraise your jewelery while doing your taxes. I really don't care. So if Gymboree was just me and my sweet Bodhi and that weird clown that goes up and down, perhaps I would have different thoughts about the place. However its not, so I hate it. But I do it because I love my sweet Bodhi and I know he loves it. So back to my Monday. While at Gymboree Bodhi decides to spit up some of his breakfast all over the slide. I immediately point it out to the teacher, she cleans it up, and we continue on. I then get death stares the entire rest of the hour from moms, because their perfect children would NEVER dream of spitting up their oatmeal on a slide.

I came home and Justin installed Jaxon's carseat in the rental so we could go eat lunch. As he's working hard to tighten the seat in the car he throws his back out. Old man! At first he's trying to shake it off and pretend he's fine. We try to go to lunch with the screaming children and scarf down our enchiladas while simultatiously feeding screaming Bodhi chips covered in ketchup. We finally make it through lunch, come home and I give Justin some Tylenol #3. He goes night night, I go to the park.

At the park, 4 recycling trucks drive through the neighborhood. Jaxon thinks its a good idea to chase them. In a panic I chase after him because I'm pretty sure he would've jumped on one if I didn't intercept. While chasing him down I loose the keys to the rental car. Let me just say, I had to chase the kid around the entire park because he wasn't listening to me, and like I said there were 4 trucks so he had many to chase. I covered some ground. I could have lost the keys ANYWHERE. I searched and searched and searched. Meanwhile the Mommy group having their fun "mommy day" at the park are staring me down like I have baby Spears and a cigarette in my mouth. They never offered to help me because that would require them to stop talking about how amazing their children are. An hour and half later, with screaming, hungry, tired Bodhi on my hip I find the damn keys. Now its dinner time and we need to go. Meanwhile, Jaxon's dream had come true... he made friends with a "big kid". Poor Jaxon always tries to hang out with the big kids at the park, but of course they're way to cool to hang with a 3 year old, so he just stares at them while pretending he's playing with them. Well today, a big kid was actually playing with him so I literally had to drag him away screaming. I'm sure the "big kid" will never play with a 3 year old again.

So I get home, feed the kids, and then start getting dressed for a BBQ at Ang and Sarah's. While getting dressed I all of a sudden hear Justin screaming many obscenities from the kitchen. I totally thought he had fallen and couldn't get up. I ran to kitchen to find Justin screaming under the sink with boiling hot water spraying him down. It is so hot that Justin's glasses are fogged up. I laugh. Then I realize that the house is quickly flooding. The hot water pipe busted, as well as the water cut off valve, so in a matter of 2 minutes the kitchen was flooding with hot scalding water. Justin is frantically trying to fix the problem with his jacked up back. I'm screaming things like, "just fucking turn it off!" "The house is underwater!" "Call the fucking plumber!!!" I'm sure I really helped matters. He runs to the neighbors house for help. After a solid 15 minutes of frantic running around the perimeter of the house trying to find the water shut off valve the neighbor finally digs it up and shuts it off. Meanwhile Jaxon is pissed because I won't go outside and play baseball with him. It was AWESOME!

But I'll be damned if any of this was going to make me miss the BBQ at Ang and Sarah's. I made sure the house was settled, and I took off. As always Ang made a delicious meal. I was finally able to meet baby Daniel ( who is the sweetest baby ever) and enjoy a relaxing time with my friends. I played some backup guitar on Rock Band as Laura belted out a mean Tom Sawyer. Justin stayed home with his Tylenol #3.

Tuesday was a much better day.

SXSW

I love this time of year in Austin. The perfect 78 degree weather, the smell of spring, being able to take the kids to the park without having to change my sweat soaked clothes when I get home, my birthday, outdoor dining (with margaritas), and live outdoor music.

Its also SXSW time. As you know, The Praters enjoy our live music. Pre-children my SXSW days and nights were filled with music, drink, more music, more drink, and more drink. One year I played pool with David Cross and Johnny Knoxville at Casino El Camino. I was totally tanked! I believe I may have stolen Mr. Knoxville's drink. By stolen, I do mean shoved his glass down my shirt. I think I still have that glass actually. The funny thing is I did, and still do, find Johnny Knoxville to be completely obnoxious. I'm also not the kind of girl to be impressed by handsome actors, except Bill Murray of course. I was just that drunk. I've also seen amazing bands play at amazing venues for FREE. It's just always been a great time of year.

However, post children my SXSW fun days have been...limited. Jaxon's first ever show was a SXSW show, Blackalicious and Spoon at Auditorium Shores. He was 6 months old and I worried about permanent damage to his hearing the entire time. Although fun, it was just not quite the same as years prior. I think it was during this time in 2006 that I realized my dreams of being one of those moms who totes their children all around town, still maintaining normal adult life, were pretty much shot. I realized my life had changed. Prechildren I imagined myself taking my children to large outdoor shows, outdoor restaurants, shit restaurants in general. I began to realize that those things are very tiring, and most times impossible to do with a baby. The amount of preparation it takes just to go to the store, let alone an all day extravaganza, is in my opinion torture. So anyway, the next 2 years, I let Justin go explore the fun while I stayed home with Jaxon...watching Elmo.

However, this year something amazing has happened. Something more amazing than anything I could have imagine. Something so amazing that I want to scream from the rooftop how amazing this amazing thing is (even though I'm deathly afraid of heights). Are you ready for it....BABYSITTERS. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I know that most of you might have already discovered the joys of a babysitter. However, Justin and I apparently missed that in the parenting classes that we didn't take. You know, the part where they tell you that without a babysitter you may discover that your life really sucks. The part where they mention that those friends, who promised to watch your cute little baby while you "have a night out", is a bunch of bullshit. Your friends want to go out WITH you. They don't want to watch your screaming, drooling, crazyass child. Just FYI.

So anyway, it took us 3 years to figure that out and here we are. I like to refer to my life as Pre-BS(babysitter) and Post BS. The Post BS life is good, its really really good.

So this year mama gets to enjoy some SXSW festivities due to our lovely babysitter. Not only do I get to go see live music, enjoy great food and beer, I also get to see my favorite band, The Authors. While I don't plan on stealing anyones drink and shoving it down my shirt, I do plan on having a blast with my friends and my husband. And for those of you in Ausin you MUST come to Uchi on Saturday to enjoy this with me.

Hipsters and titty twisters alike, its a fantastic night for

THE AUTHORS.

So as we all know I work the night shift with the craziest most amazing women ever. Just to let you know, I'm in love with my job BECAUSE of the girls I work with and not because of the crazy hormonal postpartum patients.

Now our wonderful place of employment doesn't seem to acknowledge our amazingness. They only choose to bombard us with emails about patient satisfaction, placing those oh so important labs on the charts for those oh so important MD's, and various meetings that I will never attend because they happen in between the hours of sleep and sleep.

You don't believe me? Let me give you an example of last years Christmas Party:

Don't be jealous.


Okay so now that we're all on the same page you'll completely understand why Hilary, Shannon and I took it upon ourselves to have the BEST damn Christmas Party nightshift had ever seen. So we brainstorm....


We need a location..obviously off Seton premise.. obviously at Shannon's house! Check.

We need food... how about a full on holiday potluck dinner? Perfect. Check

We need entertainment... The Authors? Nope, too loud and we don't want to get the 5-0 involved in the nighshift holiday party. Karaoke! Yes, Allison seems to always make a fool of herself with Karaoke! Check.

We need booze... Eggnog? Nah, pretty sure we don't want to see anyone vomit eggnog. So wine, beer, and....ice cold shots down a 300 lb block of ice! Check!


Apparently finding a 300 lb block of ice is a very simple task. I may or may not have called a nursing home inquiring about the purchase of a shotblock...twice. However, once I learned how to read a phone number and appropriately type it into my phone we were set.

PARTY TIME!

The hostesses with the mostesess.

The reason I will never again be able to take a shot that doesn't flow through a trench of ice. Beautiful!

This next series will be the exact pictures my children blackmail me with when they're 18.

Yes, this was before the break dancing karaoke that I performed later in the night.

Somehow someone was even able to get the real musician to perform.

Hil and Shan belted out a duet that would have made Kenny and Dolly fall to their knees.

and then lots and lots more of these!

I do believe the First Annual Holiday Nightshift Rocking Shotblock Christmas Party was a success!

Merry Christmas!

Because we all need a break from this Christmas cheer! Come out to see The Authors and their # 1 fan getting jiggy with it. I will probably bust a move or two and apparently I have learned how to break-dance thanks to my little friend the shotblock. Seriously.

Party? Yes please...

I say this with complete love for my children...

GOOD GOD I LOVE MY CHILDLESS FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't get me wrong, I love wiping asses, arguing with a 3 year old about sleep, candy, the meaning of the word boring. I love that it takes me 20 minutes to gather my shit in order to take a 2 minute drive to the grocery store for milk. I love holding my 10 month old while trying to cook, clean, and scrub marker out my carpet. I love that I know the lyrics to every Backyardigan song. I love that my couch has become a place for jumping, and the coffee table doesn't hold coffee but screaming children trying to put on a concert for their captive audience. I love having to explain everything I do in great detail. Like why I'm cleaning my sunglasses, or why I have a ponytail holder in my hair, or why I decided to flush, then wipe, then flush again. I do. I love it.

However I also love it when Mommy and Daddy get to go out.

The Authors at the Beauty Bar last Saturday night. We stayed out till gasp 2am. Fell asleep at some point that morning. Woke up, still a lil tad bit drunk , to become Mom again and explain the meaning of the word hungover. Oh good times.

The Authors:



The friends:

Yeah, it was that good.

Oh the fun...

Because being a drunken groupie is fun

Poker in the...

I had the great opportunity to play some poker last weekend. I would love to say that I knew what the fuck I was doing, but I didn't. I really really really didn't.



Oh look I have a 2 of clubs and a 5 of diamonds, I'll raise you this green one. Oh green is $100, Ok I'll raise you two. I shockingly was out of the game by round 5.


I grew up in a house with a poker room. You would think that my skills would be impressive. Above our dinner table from age 7 to 18 was a glossy wood plank with little mini cards showing poker hands. Of course as a teenager I was too cool to make conversation so I sat at the table, eating my pork chops while staring at the full house and royal flush. So why do I have no game?


When I was 7 my mom took my sister and I to Las Vegas. Who would take their small children to Vegas? Yeah, that would be my Mom. My sister and I stayed up all night "gambling" at Circus Circus while my mom spent the big bucks in the Casino. I say this to prove to you that it's in my blood.



We had so many poker chips in my house when I was kid that I would make castles and forts with them.


I need a poker coach. Anyone willing to give me the time, I am willing to show you my game, or lack thereof.


This is what you have to work with:


My winnings!

and their's