love this silly life of mine

I just ziplined through the beautiful Texas Hill Country with the best girls ever and a tour guide who smelled like asshole juice...and I loved it! Seriously, so fun!  This was preceded by a solid 12 hours of amazing hard core sleep! Which was preceded by the fan-fuggin-tastic The Authors CD release party.  And ALL of that was followed by the perfect night spent hanging with my BFF and super awesome amazing friends drinking Margaritas and watching the greatest kids ever, run and jump and play and have so much fun. I seriously LOVE my effin life. LOVE!

The Authors debut album Get Haunted is done, and amazing, and all things great. It has had me on a high since it reached my hands on Monday. I am SO proud of my husband, for all the hard work he put in to this. ANY and ALL of you who don't have a copy can download it off itunes on the 7th. I highly recommend it.

That is all.

East Meets Fest!

It's SXSW time again! Come check out The Authors, tomorrow at 2:45.  Come early, drink beer and eat some Japanese Street Food.  I'll be the one enjoying my daytime drunk, because beer and sunlight is my favorite combination.  The Authors will also be playing today at 2:30 at Aquarelle. I will be at the Rodeo with the kids, eating funnel cake. Who's jealous now?

Day 1- The Man Of The House

My husband, you know the one. The husband whom I rely on for just about everything. My Best Friend, My Chef. My Nanny. My Baby Daddy. Yeah, that one, well he decided to hightail it out of here. I know what every one's thinking. "Shit, bout time he leaves her ass" Screw Y'all! He's returning to me. The Authors just went to Dallas to record their first full length album. FOR A WEEK (and 1 day)! This is great for The Authors, this in not great for The Wife

This is the part where I tell y'all a little secret about myself. Prepare yourself. Everyone Good? Alright...I SUCK! Justin, over the 13 years that we've been together, has spoiled the living shit out of me. Y'all know this about me already, don't you? He cleans for me, he cooks for me, he always says the right thing at the right moment, he keeps me sane, he astounds me with his amazingness. I am a self proclaimed spoiled fucking brat! Hate Me. I don't care. Its just the way it is. I do my part, I don't sit around sipping wine all day. I am the Mama after all. However, Justin makes my life simple. We have a system. A system that the functioning of relies heavily on Justin

I know I will survive this. I know how to scrub a toilette, how to cook a meal (Torchey's Holla!), I can feed the dog (shit, note to self, don't forget to feed the dog). These things are not a problem. The problem staying sane after a week of single parenting. Justin and I are members of the tag team( back again) approach to parenting. We do, run, play, tolerate, until we break, then we run away, grab the other and say " I. I. I can't do this anymore. Go. They're yours. I. Have. Had. IT!!" Then we decompress, hit the reset button, and all is good. This is how we keep what little sanity we have. So Justin is gone FOR A WEEK! ( and 1 day) and y'all, I'm not gonna have anyone to Tag! This is what worries me. I can't tag the dog. I can't tag the baby? I can't tag the family members who have offered to help us out ( I can't, trust me on this), I'm gonna be tag-less FOR A WEEK! (and 1 day)


I realize that this week is nothing compared to what some go through on a daily basis. I understand that being a single parent is probably the hardest thing anyone will ever do. I understand that I'm a brat for making a deal out of this. But, seriously, I know that this is going to be difficult for ME. Why am I going to share the experiences of my WEEK! (and 1 day) with y'all? Because its just the kind of person I am. I love to expose myself (a conversation for another day) It will also give me something to do after the kids go to sleep, and my bed sits empty, unmade from the previous night.


One, Two, Three, GO

Day 1:

Saturday January 9, 2010

It was a tearful goodbye this morning at the Prater house. Bodhi was being his cute, sweet, lovable little self . Making it even harder for Justin to pack up his bags and head out the door. I was so sad to see him go. We had the last 3 days/nights off together (which never happens) so I got kinda used to having him around. I was sad y'all, I'm not gonna lie. Jaxon asked me why I had tears. He kept saying "Mama, he's coming back" Oh, the beauty of having no concept of time.

After Justin left, I casually mentioned to Jaxon that he was now the man of the house. As soon as those words fell off my tongue he puffed out his chest, and stood upright with pride. He was clearly up for the challenge. I asked him what he thought the Man of the house was supposed to do. He spouted off some very manly characteristics, such as sweeping the floor, cleaning out the dishwasher, and cooking dinner. I chuckled (under my breath, because the child f-a-reaks out if you laugh at him)and moved on. I had no idea that Jaxon's new found role as Man of The House would be so monumental.

The child, swept the floors, took Jaya outside and threw the ball around with her, cleaned up his room, cleaned out the shower, put up his clothes, made sure Bodhi had all the snacks he needed, he cleaned up after lunch and dinner, he practical made A freaking King Ranch casserole. He ended all his sentences in "yes Maam" or "please" or "Thank you" He was allstar today y'all. All-Freaking-Star. And throughout it all, he made sure to hug me and give me a kiss and tell me how beautiful I was. If I could have bottled up Jaxon, Man of The House, I would have. It was seriously the best day ever. Sweet Bodhi was sweet Bodhi, he colored for a solid 2 hours and ate every single snack like item in my house.

I miss Justin like crazy though. I am so proud of him, and so grateful that he's getting this fantastic opportunity but it still burns.

Today in the car Jaxon and I had this beautiful conversation:

Jaxon: "I think I have a tear Mama"

Me: "A tear? Why do you have a tear"

Jaxon: "I think its because I miss Daddy"

Me: "Oh, I know baby, I miss Daddy too"

Jaxon: "Actually, I think its because I'm cold"

So yeah, that's pretty much it. Day 1 was amazing. My kids were amazing. All this means for me is that tomorrow, tomorrow is going to probably be the worst day of my life. Can't wait to see. I'm off the bed at 9:19pm not because I'm tired, but because I'm bored.

Where Have I been?

Well lets see, about 2 days before my last post, I got an iPhone! Everyday since, I've been...on my iPhone! Who knew such a small device would pull me completely out of society for an entire month? Well wait, I do recall that other small device...

It's good stuff. I've become a twitter addict, a Facebook addict (although I was partially addicted before), I check The Statesman, KXAN, and The New York Times every 10 seconds. I panic, like heart jumping out of my chest, panic when I realize that I left the phone in my bedroom and GASP, I am in the LIVING ROOM! Poor baby, how could I leave you alone in a room all by yourself. "Where is Jaxon, I haven't seen him in 10 minutes?" Oh iPhone! I bet you were so lonely, so so lonely, let me make it up to you while I finger through your apps.

OK, enough, I'm done taking about my new lovechild. The child that actually listens to me, predicts what I'm going to say next, reminds me of important daily activities, plays with me when I'm bored, informs me that Jessica Simpson's dog was eaten by coyotes, and that Lance Armstrong is eating at Uchi. This thing, it has changed me. I, Allison iWhore Prater, am an ADDICT!

However, I do have other children. One's who are not as impressed with the iPhone! Although in its defense the iPhone! is teaching Jaxon to READ. A phone, that teaches my child how to READ! What the HELL! I am done with this parenting shit, I leave it all to my small hand held device. Ok, I'm done taking about my amazing phone.

Wait, one more thing, my iPhone!....IS AWESOME!!!!!

In other news:
Bodhi:

Lets see... apparently Bodhi vomited out all his baby. All of his sweetness landed in his crib and on my shirt. He is now Terrible Toddler! He has learned to remove plug covers, jump off beds backwards, pull hair, hit the dog, throw food, SCREAM, kick, punch. Justin and I haven't had a conversation before 7pm in over 2 weeks. As soon as a word so much attempts to creep off my tongue, Bodhi is right there to match it with a AHHH!!! Then Justin comes back with a "What?" Then I try to repeat myself, only to be met with a AHHH!!! Then Justin says "huh?" and then I say "FUCK IT! I'm going to my room to cry now, Thank you!" Then Justin comes in and says "What were you trying to say?" and I'm all " I was trying to say, I love you, but now I just hate me life!"

I remember Jaxon being the same impulsive, fearless, child at this age. Those faded memories are the only thing keeping me going. I know that this too shall pass and when it does, I will do a happy dance so big, so impressive, that I will embarrass my children into their teen years.

Jaxon:


Conversation of the Week:

Jaxon: "Mommy, when I grow up, I will marry you and drink beer"
Me: "Jaxon, Mommy's and son's don't get married"
Jaxon: " Alright, I will turn into a girl when I grow up and then I will marry you"
Me: "Yes, I can see it now, Transvestite Son Married Mother"
Jaxon: " What is Transvestite"

So Jaxon is same ol' Jaxon

He did make me a bouquet for our wedding day though:




The Authors played a rockin' ACL preshow at The Beauty Bar last week. It was the highlight of my month. Free Vodka, Ass Shaking', and The Authors...I live for it.








That's all for now, my iPhone is feeling neglected and its been an entire 10 minutes of me not checking Twitter or Facebook. However, I promise to not abandon my blog again. Do you trust me? Do you forgive me?

Oh and another thing, really, only 12 people follow my blog? Please tell me there are more than 12 people out there who read my blog. Not that it really matters, but I do like to know who reads this, I'm creating a list for my symposium in January 2012. Follow me! Comment! Show me some LOVE! I show you love.
I love you long time.

The SXSW Uchi show was freaking AWESOME. I got to actually drink beer during the sunlight hours! The first sip took me back to my days on the freezing Guadalupe river. Tubing with a 24 pack and my best friends. Lazy, drunk, amazing days. More importantly(or just as important) the music was fantastic, hanging with my friends was phenomenal and seeing The Authors, always fantastic. I loved every second of it.


However, I may have forgot one important small detail that day...sunscreen. OUCH! I felt the burn as it was happening but was too euphoric to actually do something about it. On the upside, I have a fantastic v-neck tan now. This photo is courtesy of the new photographer in the house, Jaxon. He took about 40 of my right ear but this one happened to catch my burn.





Sunday was the day of recovery.

Monday, oh Monday. Where do I even begin? Let me start with this...FUCK MONDAY! Early that morning Justin took my car to the shop, so we had to reinstall the carseats into the rental. We did Bodhi's first because he had a date with Gymboree. 1 carseat in and Bodhi and I take off for a fun filled hour of singing and dancing. We did the Gymboree thing with Jaxon and he LOVED it. We are doing the Gymboree thing with Bodhi and he loves it too. However, just like with Jaxon, I hate it. Its the interaction with these moms that really gets to me. I'm fortunate to know some amazing moms that don't annoy me when they talk about their kids and husbands. However, Gymboree doesn't house those kinda moms. These aren't the kind of moms I want to hang with. Sorry, but I don't want to hear about how their 10 month old child knows all his colors and shapes, and the presidents in alphabetical order, and can appraise your jewelery while doing your taxes. I really don't care. So if Gymboree was just me and my sweet Bodhi and that weird clown that goes up and down, perhaps I would have different thoughts about the place. However its not, so I hate it. But I do it because I love my sweet Bodhi and I know he loves it. So back to my Monday. While at Gymboree Bodhi decides to spit up some of his breakfast all over the slide. I immediately point it out to the teacher, she cleans it up, and we continue on. I then get death stares the entire rest of the hour from moms, because their perfect children would NEVER dream of spitting up their oatmeal on a slide.

I came home and Justin installed Jaxon's carseat in the rental so we could go eat lunch. As he's working hard to tighten the seat in the car he throws his back out. Old man! At first he's trying to shake it off and pretend he's fine. We try to go to lunch with the screaming children and scarf down our enchiladas while simultatiously feeding screaming Bodhi chips covered in ketchup. We finally make it through lunch, come home and I give Justin some Tylenol #3. He goes night night, I go to the park.

At the park, 4 recycling trucks drive through the neighborhood. Jaxon thinks its a good idea to chase them. In a panic I chase after him because I'm pretty sure he would've jumped on one if I didn't intercept. While chasing him down I loose the keys to the rental car. Let me just say, I had to chase the kid around the entire park because he wasn't listening to me, and like I said there were 4 trucks so he had many to chase. I covered some ground. I could have lost the keys ANYWHERE. I searched and searched and searched. Meanwhile the Mommy group having their fun "mommy day" at the park are staring me down like I have baby Spears and a cigarette in my mouth. They never offered to help me because that would require them to stop talking about how amazing their children are. An hour and half later, with screaming, hungry, tired Bodhi on my hip I find the damn keys. Now its dinner time and we need to go. Meanwhile, Jaxon's dream had come true... he made friends with a "big kid". Poor Jaxon always tries to hang out with the big kids at the park, but of course they're way to cool to hang with a 3 year old, so he just stares at them while pretending he's playing with them. Well today, a big kid was actually playing with him so I literally had to drag him away screaming. I'm sure the "big kid" will never play with a 3 year old again.

So I get home, feed the kids, and then start getting dressed for a BBQ at Ang and Sarah's. While getting dressed I all of a sudden hear Justin screaming many obscenities from the kitchen. I totally thought he had fallen and couldn't get up. I ran to kitchen to find Justin screaming under the sink with boiling hot water spraying him down. It is so hot that Justin's glasses are fogged up. I laugh. Then I realize that the house is quickly flooding. The hot water pipe busted, as well as the water cut off valve, so in a matter of 2 minutes the kitchen was flooding with hot scalding water. Justin is frantically trying to fix the problem with his jacked up back. I'm screaming things like, "just fucking turn it off!" "The house is underwater!" "Call the fucking plumber!!!" I'm sure I really helped matters. He runs to the neighbors house for help. After a solid 15 minutes of frantic running around the perimeter of the house trying to find the water shut off valve the neighbor finally digs it up and shuts it off. Meanwhile Jaxon is pissed because I won't go outside and play baseball with him. It was AWESOME!

But I'll be damned if any of this was going to make me miss the BBQ at Ang and Sarah's. I made sure the house was settled, and I took off. As always Ang made a delicious meal. I was finally able to meet baby Daniel ( who is the sweetest baby ever) and enjoy a relaxing time with my friends. I played some backup guitar on Rock Band as Laura belted out a mean Tom Sawyer. Justin stayed home with his Tylenol #3.

Tuesday was a much better day.

SXSW

I love this time of year in Austin. The perfect 78 degree weather, the smell of spring, being able to take the kids to the park without having to change my sweat soaked clothes when I get home, my birthday, outdoor dining (with margaritas), and live outdoor music.

Its also SXSW time. As you know, The Praters enjoy our live music. Pre-children my SXSW days and nights were filled with music, drink, more music, more drink, and more drink. One year I played pool with David Cross and Johnny Knoxville at Casino El Camino. I was totally tanked! I believe I may have stolen Mr. Knoxville's drink. By stolen, I do mean shoved his glass down my shirt. I think I still have that glass actually. The funny thing is I did, and still do, find Johnny Knoxville to be completely obnoxious. I'm also not the kind of girl to be impressed by handsome actors, except Bill Murray of course. I was just that drunk. I've also seen amazing bands play at amazing venues for FREE. It's just always been a great time of year.

However, post children my SXSW fun days have been...limited. Jaxon's first ever show was a SXSW show, Blackalicious and Spoon at Auditorium Shores. He was 6 months old and I worried about permanent damage to his hearing the entire time. Although fun, it was just not quite the same as years prior. I think it was during this time in 2006 that I realized my dreams of being one of those moms who totes their children all around town, still maintaining normal adult life, were pretty much shot. I realized my life had changed. Prechildren I imagined myself taking my children to large outdoor shows, outdoor restaurants, shit restaurants in general. I began to realize that those things are very tiring, and most times impossible to do with a baby. The amount of preparation it takes just to go to the store, let alone an all day extravaganza, is in my opinion torture. So anyway, the next 2 years, I let Justin go explore the fun while I stayed home with Jaxon...watching Elmo.

However, this year something amazing has happened. Something more amazing than anything I could have imagine. Something so amazing that I want to scream from the rooftop how amazing this amazing thing is (even though I'm deathly afraid of heights). Are you ready for it....BABYSITTERS. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I know that most of you might have already discovered the joys of a babysitter. However, Justin and I apparently missed that in the parenting classes that we didn't take. You know, the part where they tell you that without a babysitter you may discover that your life really sucks. The part where they mention that those friends, who promised to watch your cute little baby while you "have a night out", is a bunch of bullshit. Your friends want to go out WITH you. They don't want to watch your screaming, drooling, crazyass child. Just FYI.

So anyway, it took us 3 years to figure that out and here we are. I like to refer to my life as Pre-BS(babysitter) and Post BS. The Post BS life is good, its really really good.

So this year mama gets to enjoy some SXSW festivities due to our lovely babysitter. Not only do I get to go see live music, enjoy great food and beer, I also get to see my favorite band, The Authors. While I don't plan on stealing anyones drink and shoving it down my shirt, I do plan on having a blast with my friends and my husband. And for those of you in Ausin you MUST come to Uchi on Saturday to enjoy this with me.

Hipsters and titty twisters alike, its a fantastic night for

THE AUTHORS.

The Authors EP

So it's here. The Authors EP has finally arrived. I worked Tuesday night and so was obviously trying to get in my 8 hours of sleep Wednesday afternoon when I hear the not so faint yell of a certain 3 year old, "OPEN IT DADDY!!"

I knew exactly what he was after. I ran into to living room in my bra and underwear as Justin was opening the box with 6 year old Christmas day enthusiasm. Its beautiful. We pop in the CD and Jaxon, Bodhi, Justin and I had a lil dance party in the living room. Bodhi actually danced for the first time ever. I've been trying to get him to dance or clap or walk a tight rope for the past 3 months with no luck. Apparently its just that he has really great taste in music because throw in The Authors EP and he's jammin' out like he's on Star Search. We danced around the living room to the 4 fantastic songs. Jaxon busted out some moves that he only could have inherited from his mother, and Bodhi continues with his baby dance, wrist movement, clap routine. Oh and yes, I'm still in my underwear, and I'm sure the neighbors appreciated every last second of it.

So anyway, they have worked really hard to get this out. Its a fantastic CD. It will make a great stocking stuffer. Oh wait, not Christmas is it? Umm it will make a great Valentines gift for your lover. What better way to say I love you than a shiny new CD. Who needs chocolate when you have The Authors. Roses? Overrated! The Authors, not overrated! Oh and Bodhi's birthday is coming up. What better way to say Happy Birthday Bodhi then a CD. A CD for you and your loved ones. Come on, you know Grandma Pearl wants a CD for Bodhi's Birthday/Valentines day.

FREEE FREEEE FREEEEEE WHEEEEEE FREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Because we all need a break from this Christmas cheer! Come out to see The Authors and their # 1 fan getting jiggy with it. I will probably bust a move or two and apparently I have learned how to break-dance thanks to my little friend the shotblock. Seriously.

Party? Yes please...

I say this with complete love for my children...

GOOD GOD I LOVE MY CHILDLESS FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't get me wrong, I love wiping asses, arguing with a 3 year old about sleep, candy, the meaning of the word boring. I love that it takes me 20 minutes to gather my shit in order to take a 2 minute drive to the grocery store for milk. I love holding my 10 month old while trying to cook, clean, and scrub marker out my carpet. I love that I know the lyrics to every Backyardigan song. I love that my couch has become a place for jumping, and the coffee table doesn't hold coffee but screaming children trying to put on a concert for their captive audience. I love having to explain everything I do in great detail. Like why I'm cleaning my sunglasses, or why I have a ponytail holder in my hair, or why I decided to flush, then wipe, then flush again. I do. I love it.

However I also love it when Mommy and Daddy get to go out.

The Authors at the Beauty Bar last Saturday night. We stayed out till gasp 2am. Fell asleep at some point that morning. Woke up, still a lil tad bit drunk , to become Mom again and explain the meaning of the word hungover. Oh good times.

The Authors:



The friends:

Yeah, it was that good.

Oh the fun...

Because being a drunken groupie is fun

Rockin' Out sans Tom Bergeron.

Yes, I do realize that this will cut into your Dancing With the Stars however I spoke to Tom Bergeron this morning and he assures me that seeing the Authors play at The Hole In the Wall is much more important than watching his fellow "stars" strut around on a stage in sequins. So come out to see the most rockinest of rock and roll bands in rock history. ROCK ON!