Where Have I been?
Well lets see, about 2 days before my last post, I got an iPhone! Everyday since, I've been...on my iPhone! Who knew such a small device would pull me completely out of society for an entire month? Well wait, I do recall that other small device...
It's good stuff. I've become a twitter addict, a Facebook addict (although I was partially addicted before), I check The Statesman, KXAN, and The New York Times every 10 seconds. I panic, like heart jumping out of my chest, panic when I realize that I left the phone in my bedroom and GASP, I am in the LIVING ROOM! Poor baby, how could I leave you alone in a room all by yourself. "Where is Jaxon, I haven't seen him in 10 minutes?" Oh iPhone! I bet you were so lonely, so so lonely, let me make it up to you while I finger through your apps.
OK, enough, I'm done taking about my new lovechild. The child that actually listens to me, predicts what I'm going to say next, reminds me of important daily activities, plays with me when I'm bored, informs me that Jessica Simpson's dog was eaten by coyotes, and that Lance Armstrong is eating at Uchi. This thing, it has changed me. I, Allison iWhore Prater, am an ADDICT!
However, I do have other children. One's who are not as impressed with the iPhone! Although in its defense the iPhone! is teaching Jaxon to READ. A phone, that teaches my child how to READ! What the HELL! I am done with this parenting shit, I leave it all to my small hand held device. Ok, I'm done taking about my amazing phone.
Wait, one more thing, my iPhone!....IS AWESOME!!!!!
In other news:
Bodhi:
Lets see... apparently Bodhi vomited out all his baby. All of his sweetness landed in his crib and on my shirt. He is now Terrible Toddler! He has learned to remove plug covers, jump off beds backwards, pull hair, hit the dog, throw food, SCREAM, kick, punch. Justin and I haven't had a conversation before 7pm in over 2 weeks. As soon as a word so much attempts to creep off my tongue, Bodhi is right there to match it with a AHHH!!! Then Justin comes back with a "What?" Then I try to repeat myself, only to be met with a AHHH!!! Then Justin says "huh?" and then I say "FUCK IT! I'm going to my room to cry now, Thank you!" Then Justin comes in and says "What were you trying to say?" and I'm all " I was trying to say, I love you, but now I just hate me life!"
I remember Jaxon being the same impulsive, fearless, child at this age. Those faded memories are the only thing keeping me going. I know that this too shall pass and when it does, I will do a happy dance so big, so impressive, that I will embarrass my children into their teen years.
Jaxon:
Conversation of the Week:
Jaxon: "Mommy, when I grow up, I will marry you and drink beer"
Me: "Jaxon, Mommy's and son's don't get married"
Jaxon: " Alright, I will turn into a girl when I grow up and then I will marry you"
Me: "Yes, I can see it now, Transvestite Son Married Mother"
Jaxon: " What is Transvestite"
So Jaxon is same ol' Jaxon
He did make me a bouquet for our wedding day though:
The Authors played a rockin' ACL preshow at The Beauty Bar last week. It was the highlight of my month. Free Vodka, Ass Shaking', and The Authors...I live for it.
That's all for now, my iPhone is feeling neglected and its been an entire 10 minutes of me not checking Twitter or Facebook. However, I promise to not abandon my blog again. Do you trust me? Do you forgive me?
Oh and another thing, really, only 12 people follow my blog? Please tell me there are more than 12 people out there who read my blog. Not that it really matters, but I do like to know who reads this, I'm creating a list for my symposium in January 2012. Follow me! Comment! Show me some LOVE! I show you love.
I love you long time.
Well lets see, about 2 days before my last post, I got an iPhone! Everyday since, I've been...on my iPhone! Who knew such a small device would pull me completely out of society for an entire month? Well wait, I do recall that other small device...
It's good stuff. I've become a twitter addict, a Facebook addict (although I was partially addicted before), I check The Statesman, KXAN, and The New York Times every 10 seconds. I panic, like heart jumping out of my chest, panic when I realize that I left the phone in my bedroom and GASP, I am in the LIVING ROOM! Poor baby, how could I leave you alone in a room all by yourself. "Where is Jaxon, I haven't seen him in 10 minutes?" Oh iPhone! I bet you were so lonely, so so lonely, let me make it up to you while I finger through your apps.
OK, enough, I'm done taking about my new lovechild. The child that actually listens to me, predicts what I'm going to say next, reminds me of important daily activities, plays with me when I'm bored, informs me that Jessica Simpson's dog was eaten by coyotes, and that Lance Armstrong is eating at Uchi. This thing, it has changed me. I, Allison iWhore Prater, am an ADDICT!
However, I do have other children. One's who are not as impressed with the iPhone! Although in its defense the iPhone! is teaching Jaxon to READ. A phone, that teaches my child how to READ! What the HELL! I am done with this parenting shit, I leave it all to my small hand held device. Ok, I'm done taking about my amazing phone.
Wait, one more thing, my iPhone!....IS AWESOME!!!!!
In other news:
Bodhi:
Lets see... apparently Bodhi vomited out all his baby. All of his sweetness landed in his crib and on my shirt. He is now Terrible Toddler! He has learned to remove plug covers, jump off beds backwards, pull hair, hit the dog, throw food, SCREAM, kick, punch. Justin and I haven't had a conversation before 7pm in over 2 weeks. As soon as a word so much attempts to creep off my tongue, Bodhi is right there to match it with a AHHH!!! Then Justin comes back with a "What?" Then I try to repeat myself, only to be met with a AHHH!!! Then Justin says "huh?" and then I say "FUCK IT! I'm going to my room to cry now, Thank you!" Then Justin comes in and says "What were you trying to say?" and I'm all " I was trying to say, I love you, but now I just hate me life!"
I remember Jaxon being the same impulsive, fearless, child at this age. Those faded memories are the only thing keeping me going. I know that this too shall pass and when it does, I will do a happy dance so big, so impressive, that I will embarrass my children into their teen years.
Jaxon:
Conversation of the Week:
Jaxon: "Mommy, when I grow up, I will marry you and drink beer"
Me: "Jaxon, Mommy's and son's don't get married"
Jaxon: " Alright, I will turn into a girl when I grow up and then I will marry you"
Me: "Yes, I can see it now, Transvestite Son Married Mother"
Jaxon: " What is Transvestite"
So Jaxon is same ol' Jaxon
He did make me a bouquet for our wedding day though:
The Authors played a rockin' ACL preshow at The Beauty Bar last week. It was the highlight of my month. Free Vodka, Ass Shaking', and The Authors...I live for it.
That's all for now, my iPhone is feeling neglected and its been an entire 10 minutes of me not checking Twitter or Facebook. However, I promise to not abandon my blog again. Do you trust me? Do you forgive me?
Oh and another thing, really, only 12 people follow my blog? Please tell me there are more than 12 people out there who read my blog. Not that it really matters, but I do like to know who reads this, I'm creating a list for my symposium in January 2012. Follow me! Comment! Show me some LOVE! I show you love.
I love you long time.
5 comments:
I love you long time. I am addicted to my ipod touch also. Speaking of teaching your kid to read, it'll teach him how to spell too. Oh, and there's even CPR on it too, in case someone chokes while you're a-Twitter. Speaking of CPR, do you think that would count as my re-cert? Please say yes, please say yes. I check my FB so much that I'm sad when there aren't new posts. Is there a 12-step program for us??? And I'm with you on the following thing. Why can't people just hit that button? or comment? I hate when you see people and they reference your blog, yet you had no clue that they read it. Kinda creepy. Okay, I think this qualifies as longest comment ever. Peace.
Word. Me love you long time, too. Addicted. All of the above. CEPT no tengo mi iPhone, yet. My husband wants to get off easy and get it for me for my Bday. I laughed at him and said "Bwahahahahaha, you are getting me boobs. Get your checkbook, sucka!" Oh, wait, are these comments public....
Oh, I got a new follower recently. I don't know who it is, though. But since the name is "txnurse99" I'm thinking it's probably safe.
That's all.
Kthanksbye :P)
13 followers
Me me, I'm here! I went the Blackberry route, no iphone for me. I have to be lame and have Verizon. Boo. Your kids are adorable...Jaxon cracks me up with his love for the ladies. Rico suave!
HAHAHAHAHA! Txnurse999 is me!!!! I will follow you too Allison, just as soon as I cough up a lung and get off my iphone.
~ Zoe
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