Me: "goodnight, Jaxon"
Jaxon: "but I'm afraid of the Easter Bunny.....pleeeeeaaaasssseee sleep with me?!?"
Me: "Honey, mommy can't sleep with you tonight. Sorry"
(and let me just tell you, I wanted nothing more than to crawl into his twin size bed and curl up next to the gigantic stuffed penguin, the floppy monkey, the ugly doll thing, Elmo 1, 2, and 3 (including tickle me Elmo), the robot, the cougar, "Brobie", the dinosaur, the crazy purple dollar store bunny (who btw, he is NOT afraid of, even though it's creepier than ANY "Easter Bunny" I've ever seen), the plier, the firetruck flashlight and Jaxon. However, my stupid hungover procrastinating ass hadn't' done any prep work for Easter Sunday, and I had an endless list of Easter crap to do. I still had to feed the plastic eggs with sugar filled candies and pennies from the floorboard of my car, make food for the next day, fill the kids baskets with loot from the "Easter Bunny" (which btw, I totally don't get but do anyway)
Jaxon: "but pleeeaaaseee mommy"
Me: "why are you scared of the Easter Bunny, sweetie?"
(Could it be the gigantic furry feet? Or his freakishly floppy ears? Or the fact that he hops around town hiding "candy" filled eggs in the backyard while you're snugged away in your bed? Or maybe the enormous carrot he likes to endlessly snack upon?)
Jaxon: "I don't know, he's big?
(giving me the I really don't care either way about this thing you people call the "Easter Bunny", all I want is for you to sleep in my bed and I'll tell you whatever you want to hear about this Easter Bunny fella till you do, look.)
Me: "OK, how about I just call up the Easter bunny and tell him to skip over our house?"
Jaxon: (eyes as big as the Easter Bunny's butthole) "Whhhaaattttt about my CANDY?"
Me: "alright, alright I'll just meet him at the front door and ask him to drop off the candy. I won't invite him in"
Jaxon: "fine, whatever" (rolls his eyes and turns around to fall asleep)
No comments:
Post a Comment