Day 4-"He's just fine"

Day 4
January 12, 2010

I had to go to work the evening of Day 3. I get to work, let loose, settle in to enjoy the break, the adult conversation. I call to check in with Jaxon at about 9:30. We have family watching him. I get word that Jaxon has thrown up. "Its OK though, he's just sitting in his room reading now" I envision my poor baby sitting all alone, in his room, sick. I cry a good cry in the bathroom at work, try to compose myself and walk out in to the hallway. I see Shannon, and start to cry again. I see Elizabeth, start to cry again. FUCK! How am I going to function another 10 hours? The thought, nearly gave me an anxiety attack. My awesome coworkers pulled together, to get me home, home to my sick child, alone in his room. I can't thank them enough. When I got home, I rushed into Jaxon's room. "He's just fine", I'm told. I hold him. He's burning up. He looks up at me, his eyes fill with tears, my eyes fill with tears. I grab his hot little hand and we walk to my bedroom. He curled up next to me and slept for the next 30 minutes, while I watched him breathe. The rest of the night he was up, bathroom trip after bathroom trip.

Bodhi woke up early and our day began. Jaxon spent most of his time on the couch. In between helping Jaxon out, I was steam cleaning the vomit and washing sheets for the third time that day.

At about 3:30, Jaxon starts screaming in pain, the vomit became much more frequent. Tears were spilling from his eyes. I panic. I called the Doctor.  He was limp, lethargic, screaming in pain. MD asks me to bring him in at 4:30. Trying to get 2 kids and 1 adult who have been sitting in their PJ's all day ready to go, with 1 child screaming in pain and the other child screaming in fear, was awesome y'all. That memory will be stored for life. Burned into my brain.  We drive, Jaxon with a vomit bowl in his lap.

We make it to the MD, Bodhi was surprisingly fantastic. Jaxon was terrified. Not of the Doctor, but of the fact that he was in so much pain. The Doctor talked to him. Told him he would be Ok. We got a sticker. More importantly we got a prescription for Zofran, to help with the vomiting. An interesting trip to HEB, with bowl in hand, and then we are home.

I sit down, for the first time that day, and realize SHIT! I haven't eaten all day. I start to get weak. I cry. I text Justin. I probably shouldn't have done that. I was angry, exhausted, bitter. I had had the worst 2 days of my life. Justin called me later and I apologized. We talked. He made me laugh. He said the right things, as he always does. He made me happy, as he always does. I needed to hear his voice. It recharged me.

Bodhi off to bed. Jaxon curled up next to me. The house, whoa, the house is beyond the point of destroyed. I don't even want to walk out in the living room. On the upside, sheets are cleaned and every piece of fabric is steam cleaned.

Just so y'all know, I have no doubt that the awesomeness The Authors are creating in the studio right now is well worth the struggles that I am facing here.  The excitement in Justin's voice, tells me that this is worth every second. I am beyond proud of them all right now.