I worked Tuesday night and the entire night I was craving breakfast taco's. I go to pull my wallet out of my bag and, oh darn, must have forgot it at home. Oh well, no taco's for me. I suppose a bowl of special K is where its at. However, a lovely little co-worker of mine (Rosie your awesome, even though I know you wont ever read this) gave me some money to treat myself (and the family) to some Taco's. So I'm so excited to sit down at the table Wednesday morning with my taco's, my boys and my hubby. I open up the first taco, its delicious. I open up the second and take my first bite, delicious. I take my second bite, HOLY MOTHER FUCKING HELL THE PAIN!!!! DEAR GOD THE PAIN! I jump out of my seat and run into the bathroom to brush my teeth because yeah, like a toothbrush and some toothpaste would have taken care of the massive tooth pain I was feeling.

The pain was so bad that I started to shake uncontrollably. I tried to lay down in bed, screaming my head off. Jaxon was terrified. I knew he was terrified but I couldn't control myself. It felt like someone was jabbing a knife into the nerve of my tooth. I was pretty sure I was going to have to cut my face off.

I asked Justin to grab me a vicodin from my secret postpartum stash. Wait, postpartum as in post Bodhi, not as in stealing from the postpartum omnicell (I realize that statement is totally gibberish to my non work friends). I pop the vicodin and wait. I'm now rolling on the floor in my bathroom because the pain is so bad I can't figure out what to do with myself. Justin gets on the phone, calls the Dentist, and gets me an appointment for an hour later. Time then stopped. In fact I believe I watched the minute hand move backwards.

At the same time I realize that I didn't actually leave my wallet at home, I lost it. I remembered letting Bodhi chew on it so that he wouldn't freak out in the middle of lunch with my mom. That was Monday and it was now Wednesday. I'm assuming that he dropped it and I never realized it because I was too busy trying to explain to Jaxon that he wasn't allowed to have another cup of pink lemonade because I wanted him to sleep at some point that night. So Justin called Central Market and, Hell Yeah, they found it. Thank God!

So Justin says, "why don't you just swing on by Central Market on your way to the Dentist and pick it up." I looked at him with tears and daggers in my eyes. I don't remember what I told him but I can pretty much guarantee is was something I would cringe at if ever repeated. I told him I was going to go to the Dentist office and I was going to sit in the waiting room until they took me in because they were tired of hearing me cry. So I did just that. I sat there until my 9:40 appointment while they watched me cry. The old man next to me didn't know whether to hug me or move to another chair, Luckily they called his name so he was free from my snotty pitiful self.

The sweet little dental assistant asked me how my day was going and I said, WELL, I'M IN PAIN! She said "OK, lets head on back" but was definitely thinking "OK, shit I was just being nice bitch". She asked me if I had taken any medications before coming in so I told her about the vicodin. She said "Oh you took a vicodin and drove here?" That's when I lied and said, "I only live a block away"

The Dentist comes in, looks at my X-ray and says, "so Allison it looks here like we recommended you get this pulled about a year ago" to which I replied, "yeah well like I told them a year ago, I wasn't going to get it pulled until I was done breastfeeding because I prefer to take all the drugs that I can when I get it done. They told me it was fine because it didn't look bad. I had an appointment in May to get them pulled. It takes so freaking long to get an appointment around here, so that's why its still in, and it really really hurts, OK!!" To which she replied, "yeah, I'm sure it does it has a huge cavity on it, and the pain you're feeling is related to the nerve" To which I replied, "what can we do to stop this pain, I think I'm going to die" To which she replied, "oh that thing is coming out right now" To which I replied, "and what kind of medication will you give me" To which she replied, " I think that vicodin you took and some local numbing will be just fine" To which I replied, " Seriously?!?" To which she replied, " your other option is going to an oral surgeon and possibly waiting a week" To which I replied " PULL IT OUT!"

I knew I should have lied about taking that damn vicodin! Oh well, they numb me up, I wait 10 minutes for her to see the crackpot next to me. She comes back in and tells me I may feel some pressure during the extraction but should not feel pain. She tells me to lift my left hand if I feel pain and she will immediately stop. She then proceeds to accidentally pin down my left hand between her and the chair and goes about her extraction. I felt no physical pain but the emotional pain and scaring that this bad boy caused will last an entirety. The crunch, the pop, the crackle, the crunch again. Holy Shit!

Its finally out now though! I've been putting it off for 10 years and apparently had to be forced by the most insane pain I have ever felt to get it out. The problem is I have an appointment in March to get the other one pulled because she didn't have the time (2 minutes) to pull it out. The other one is fine, no cavities and knowing what I know now, its going to be really hard to go.

I'm definitely still taking my vicodin. Unfortunately Justin had to work tonight so I couldn't take any for fear that Justin may come home to Bodhi eating Jaya's dog food and Jaxon watching Real Sex. As soon as he walks in the door however, vicodin down the hatch and Goodnight Allison.